Poison: soursop tea

Favourite things: my kindle

Confusion often makes a bed with worry in my little head and household.

Today I have been quite overwhelmed by worry. Plagued about quite a few things, but mainly just one situation.

No matter what I have done, the internal world of my thoughts has protested very loudly.

A cup of tea, a nap, the gym, a hair treatment, long hugs with my boys, cooking, reading, talking…all my usual muses haven’t really helped today.

What do you do when you’ve tried everything but still feel plagued with worrisome thoughts?

For me scripture gives me some relief…

Matthew 6:25-27 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?

So much in this one piece of scripture.

How can being anxious add a single hour to our life? So true…

Worry does not provide answers it just clouds them.

And one of my greatest comforts is this scripture…

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

No matter what I do, worry does not change the situation or the circumstance. Allowing ourselves to be humbled and giving our fear, confusion and worry over is our only sane choice.

How difficult is it though?

I love this quote also…

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.- Corrie Ten Boom

So tonight I have put myself to bed early, I’m sure some sleep deprivation with a newborn has added to the state of my cobwebbed mind, drink a cup of tea and hand over my concerns and trust a greater being.

Easier said than done!

I am trying however…

A

Poison: water

Favourite things: the gym

This afternoon I heard some news that has really confused me. Its news about something I care about deeply and sometimes it just takes time to process.

We all have days where we find out news that can stop us in our tracks and realistically in life it’s how we process these moments that make or break people.

How do you process big news items?

Do you gossip with friends?

Do you process with your nearest and dearest?

Do you hide away and ignore your feelings?

Do you tell everyone and anyone your feelings and your summations?

I have learnt that it is not wise to talk to everyone and anyone when you are confused, but it’s also not wise to keep your thoughts internalized either.

Find safe friends, find a safe space and take time to allow the news to settle.

Making big changes in the midst of confusion also is not the answer.

Taking time to reflect and review. Taking time to understand and process.

Often I find people react to news rather than respond.

To respond is to consider carefully and to take time to breathe.

The best life decisions are made in moments of clarity.

If you feel confused, be slow to speak and be slow to make decisions.

Retreat into a safe space of reflection and allow the confusion to fade.

Time always brings an answer, if you give it space to arise.

I’m not sure in this moment, but that’s okay.

I actually feel really peaceful in this space because I have amazing people to process my confusion with.

How about you?

A

Poison: Green Rose Tea

Favourite Things: New discoveries

This video  which is all about small gatherings of people completely inspired me today.

kinfolk dinners

It made me think of my kinfolk. The people who I would give my hours too, without even contemplating a second thought.

Those moments we have shared beyond weddings and special events. The everyday dinner that inspires one another with our stories.

Who are your kinfolk?

Who could you share anything with?

When was the last time you went to a lot of effort to create a space for stories to be revealed?

Now I wish our house was bigger or I had a random uncle with a barn…

Take time to plan a kinfolk gathering sometime soon.

A

Poison: Flat White

Favorite Things: Cold enough for a hoodie

This week we went and did a big shop on Monday at a grower direct market. We filled our fridge with fruit, vegetables and meat. It was so much cheaper to go to the grower directly but also it means our week has been so much healthier because our fridge is stocked with fresh options.

We live in a society that is obsessed with consuming. Quick consumption at that. It needs to be cheap and fast. If we drive along one main artery and just count the fast food outlets you would be shocked. Often there are Mac donalds kilometre after kilometre.

I may feel quickly full when I go through a drive through, but I feel overwhelmingly satisfied when I go and pick herbs and vegetables out of my own garden.

I think we were created by a creator to be a producer rather than a consumer. When we produce something it brings deep satisfaction because it reflects a Creative God, who begins the bible with seven days of creation. He is a producer of new and fresh opportunities.

When we create new businesses, when we create new clothing, when we create something from scratch, it is deeply fulfilling.

When was the last time you made something from nothing?

A cupcake, a meal, some bread, some clothes, a scarf, a painting, a shed… the list is endless. We don’t need to be super creative to have a go. We just have to be willing to fail.

Pride often stops us from producing and we fall into the land of consumption.

We are defined by what we create, not by what we use…

What is defining you in this season?

A

Poison: plunger coffee

Favorite things: Max just slept through the night!!!

I am a little excited and am wide awake because Max just slept through from 8pm last night till nearly 5am this morning.

I am alive, I have had longer than 4 hours sleep…

So I picked up the book we are reading for our connect group at the moment ‘Real marriage’ and am so challenged about the chapter on friendship.

I think social media has completely warped our view of friendship. Making us believe that a few comments on some status updates, a bit of stalking from afar via our timelines, some quick catch ups over 140 characters or less and we have deep relationship.

It’s so wrong.

This chapter is also showing me that we truly can’t have hundreds of friends.

We can have hundreds, even thousands of acquaintances, but the word friend speaks of honesty, deep relationship and comradely doing life together.

Honesty is something I so appreciate in friendship but it takes a lot of time for me to accept it.

Trust and rejection have been major parts of my journey, so to hear criticism and honesty from a friend who I haven’t felt deep encouragement and love from is difficult.

However I long for honest friends. In fact in my new season I am truly seeing who my true friends are. When I can’t meet people on their terms anymore. The friends that are still there despite my inability to phone them everyday or write to them or coffee with them as often.

I have found that the people I thought were my friends from my working days, who haven’t even seen Max yet and he is 11weeks old now, truly were just acquaintances and that is okay.

Releasing seasons to embrace new ones is a skill many don’t learn in life.

I want to be a student of life and learn the lessons required quickly.

Living in regret and dishonesty, not being real about your true state of affairs is a awful place to exist.

Proverbs 27:9 ‘Ointment and perfume delight the heart, and the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel.’

The word hearty here means honesty.

Are you living an honest life with your friends?

Can your friendships endure honesty?

Does rejection and trust issues stop you from allowing those closest too you to be honest?

Wow.

It’s a daily step of surrender, but I think I’m getting too old for fake, trite conversation. I’m looking for friendship that can endure and weather deep seasons of honesty and encouragement.

A

Poison: water

Favourite Things: memories of yesterday

As I reflect on yesterday I am still basking in its glow.

Why?

After years of waiting, a dream was realized.

One of the hardest parts of my journey towards mummy hood and marriage was waiting in expectation and not allowing disappointment to break my stride.

The greatest hurdle was patience. Waiting in peace for the prize.

How do we wait with patience?

From the little things, like waiting in a queue at the shopping centre, to the big opportunities in life like that car you’ve always wanted, a partner to share your life with or that book you’ve longed to publish.

How?

I’m not sure I have it down, but the bible speaks about patience being a fruit of the spirit. It grows as our relationship with the spirit grows.

Patience grows when we humble ourselves and prefer others first.

Patience grows when we silence our inner critic and be quiet in times when we want to scream, whine and whinge.

Patience grows when we listen, patience grows when we breath deeply in times of deep frustration.

Patience grows.

It’s not something that just arrives in our lap.

It grows.

In a society that thrives on the immediate, patience is not encouraged often, however in the land of the spirit patience is a language that promotes growth, character and resilience.

As noble as patience is, it bloody hurts!

Deep breath

A

Poison: Cordial

Favorite Things: My mothers day dressing gown

Many shrink back from dreaming, often afraid of failure. Dreaming about a family, being a mother was one I was lost in regularly.

I dreamt about being a mother and then I chided myself for even having the audacity to dream.

It hurt my heart to dream. I was told for a long time I would never have children.

Isaiah 54 says ‘Enlarge your tent, Spread out your house and spare no expense. For you will be soon bursting at the seams. Fear not you will no longer live in shame’ I read these words and I wondered whether God could actually come good on his promise.

Today I am seeing a dream realised. I feel more excited today than any other. I am not in the haze of drugs and pain, like the day of Max’s birth. Today I am revelling in the dream that has been realised.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but I believe that hopes realised make the heart sing.

If you have hopes that you have dreamed of yet they tarry, then let hope arise.

I was told it would be difficult to conceive. In fact, year after year I thought I would never be a mummy. But today is a day of victory.

Mothers day was always difficult. It felt so awkward celebrating the thing I desired so deeply.

I smiled and tried to celebrate others. How can you be happy for others though, when you are insanely jealous of them?

Hope deferred does make the heart sick, it fills it with bitterness, jealously and envy. Allowing times of reflection and prayer to wash away these feelings and decisions is the best way to combat these overwhelming emotions.

Today is a dream realised for me.

My prayer is that you would find faith and comfort from this, not further pain.

Dream again if your heart has died a little.

You never know what tomorrow may bring.

A

Poison: nandos

Favourite things: getting excited for my first mothers day!

Tonight we hung out with one of the most amazing single mums. She is raising three kids by herself and we really wanted to honor her this mothers day weekend.

Now that I have a little one myself I am astounded at the sheer courage it must take to raise children alone.

The bible is very clear that we are to look after the widows and the orphans. I think our society is great at the moment looking out for the orphans. It is the latest fad, to be involved with social justice.

But what about the widows. The women who are raising children without fathers. The fathers who are raising children without mothers. Our society is full of them.

Not that we should feel sorry for them, or patronize them, but we are commanded to love and care and provide for them.

The government is not required to care for them, families are not called to provide for them, the church and it’s people are required to provide for them.

Who do you know in this category?

When was the last time you encouraged them?

Maybe tomorrow is that day.

Mothers day for the single mums and
Dads and also the women who desperately want to have children and cannot is one of the most desolate days of the year.

We can change that.

You can change that.

Encourage someone this weekend.

For all those who feel singled out. I pray tomorrow is a day of hope for you…

A

Poison: peach and soursop iced tea

Favourite things: a new scarf I’m crocheting

We have a 10 week old baby and getting out on a date is never an easy one, with feeding and all but spending time together alone is imperative.

The whole date night phenomenon has in some circles gotten a bad reputation, but for us it’s treasured.

We don’t need to spend heaps of money, just spend some effort.

So tonight we set the table, lit a candle, put Max to bed, cooked some steak, tossed a beautiful salad, turned the tv off, played some favourite tunes and date night began.

We are not religious about it, as the movie with the same turkey revealed. A couple that went to the same restaurant , with the same baby sitter, ordered the same meal, had the same conversation and both were completely bored out of their minds.

We try to remain spontaneous, allowing each other the attention to keep out relationship fresh and alive.

When did you spontaneously date your nearest and dearest?

Be spontaneous sometime soon…

A

Poison: Pepsi Max

Favourite Things: My little man sleeping

Max is now 10 weeks old. In his ten weeks of living, we have only given him a couple of baths.

Does our little man smell?

No, we have just decided to give him showers instead.

This morning though, I thought the time had come to bring out the baby bath we spent a fortune on setting up for our little one.

He absolutely loved it. Loved it, is actually an understatement, he gah-ed and goo-ed, smiled and batted his long eyelashes at me.

Its the simple things hey.

Often we are so complicated about life. We spend hundreds on trying to find happiness in a new pair of jeans, we spend hours on the internet asking and hoping that someone will like our status update on social media, we hang about holding our phone hoping someone will call.

Yet often it is the little things in life that really make us thrive. A warm bath, a candle lit over dinner, a roast cooked by a friend, a letter in the mail that is not a bill, a walk along the ocean with a listening ear.

The simple things.

Have you complicated your life looking for happiness?

Are you placing high expectations on someone or something, always being let down?

Why don’t you run a bath, light a candle, phone a friend, go to the movies, read a good book. Just find a little time to do something simple that changes your perspective on your circumstance today.

Life wasn’t designed to be so complicated.

Often we are the ones that over think the answers sometimes.

If only Max’s baby bath was big enough for me to fit in it…

A